Lookalike - Match of the Day?

UPDATE: This from Chianothus Virginicus

Not just a lookalike...

One got rid of the cap on wages... and the other got rid of the cap on fare rises.

Caps off all round! Chin chin.

IEP to be steamrollered as Foster rebuffed

Telegrammed by Ithuriel
Didn't DfT Rail promise that they would evaluate the Intercity Express Programme...

...alongside the credible alternatives recommended by Sir Andrew Foster?

Here is Petrol-head in the Commons yesterday:

"I said at the beginning of my statement, but perhaps I was being obtuse, that other major rail projects are under consideration, and I hope to be able to make an announcement to the House in the next few weeks.

"The Intercity Express programme is one of those under consideration. As the hon. Gentleman will know, it is an extremely complex package of projects, and the new bid that we have received from Agility Trains requires careful analysis at a technical, financial and legal level. That work is ongoing, and once we have completed it, I will be in a position to make an announcement."

No mention of credible alternatives.

Since DfT Rail's IEP team believe that there are no credible alternatives, it is clear that there is no point in considering them.

What a waste of Sir Andrew's time and our money.

And if the 'new bid' requires 'technical and financial' analysis then the 'legal' is essential as Alstom, Bombardier and Siemens will surely protest.

UPDATE: This from The Archer...

Based on recent events Alstom will be protesting whether the ‘new bid’ is a New Bid or not.

Incidentally, if Agility Trains do go ahead with their North East investment plans any chance we could rename the project 'Whey-aye EP'?

Trainy speakibold: Merseyrail

This from Rudi over at the Merseyrail Press Office...

It seems Eye's new Trainy Speakibold is catching on.

Witness this message from control:

"Netrail report a van has struck Ellens Lane overbridge at Port Sunlighty, no delay to services anticipated."

Deep joy!

Virgin promotes healthy eating

So who was the First Group senior executive whose Beardie Rail breakfast was dramatically curtailed on Monday morning?

Bemused customers witnessed the scene as Virgin staff served a breakfast to the industry big-wig, only to confiscate it minutes later.

Apparently the traveller's papers were deemed 'not in order', falling foul of Beardie Rail's restrictions on bearer pass dining.

The usual fiver for any additional information...

Radio 4 on the benefits of DfT micromanagement

Telegrammed by Newhaven Marine
BBC Radio 4 broadcast a programme today fisking DfT over Parly Trains.

If you missed 'The Ghost Trains of Old England' well worth listening again on iPlayer.

For the benefit of those in Marsham Street: Railways generally provide something called a passenger service.

Service as in something that can be used by passengers and which appears in a timetable to enable said.

Sadly once the Department for Transport starts specifying timetables the term 'passenger service' is transmogrified into a fig leaf to cover DafT incompetence, which explains ghost trains the don't appear in timetables and trains that become taxis or charabancs.

And all because DfT didn't understand the closure processes that their own officials wrote into legislation.

Eye wonders who is responsible for this expensive nonsense and when they will be fired?

Failing that an undertaking from Petrol-head that we will see an end to timetable micro-management would be much appreciated.

UPDATE: This from Jim 'Nick Nick' Davison...

The town of Polesworth on the Nuneaton to Stafford route used to have a poor service of four trains a day. It is a fair size place with the remains of Polesworth Abbey and a needs a boost as years ago was a mining area.

To facilitate the west Coast mainline modernisation the trains were replaced by a substitute bus (for about four years).
During that time the station footbridge was demolished leaving the Up platform stranded.

No worries though as Railtrack's Act of Parliament for the works allowed compulsory purchase along the alignment including line of deviation so a strip of field would give access parallel to the railway to the road bridge. This was not done.

When the train service was being set up to run trains, the local authorities were told that because of pathing, if a train running on the 'slows' (this is a four track section) stopped at Polesworth, it could not stop at the next station Atherstone and vice versa.

Accordingly now only one train a day calls at Polesworth.

Another fact about that area is that the two towns of Walsall and Wolverhampton were linked by a train service that was so often under threat and cancelled, that many thought it had gone.

When the consultation for the new West Midlands Franchise came up, Network Rail (according to the DfT website that annoyingly has it under responses to Cross Country franchise consultation) responded supporting withdrawal of the trains so that the unit could be used elsewhere (Why ? Is it their business to do so?)

It is now annoyingly awkward once again to make journeys such as Shrewsbury to Walsall.

Alstom cannot tell its farce from its elbow

Telegrammed by Leo Pink...
As L'affaire Eurostar moves from Paris to London it is casting a fascinating light on national comedic stereotypes.

It began as pure Feydeau farce, with the two comedy detectives Borloo et Bussereau bursting out of the wardrobe to find Eurostar and Siemens in a clinch to cries of 'Ooh lal la, zey have bought ze forbidden trains!!'

But in Alstom's current hearing in the High Court in London we are seeing a comedy of embarrassment best typified by 'The Office'. Alstom's latest arguaments against the Siemens order are even more cringe-making than David Brent's dancing.

Of course, no strangers to national self delusion, Alstom may see themselves as heir's to Dumas' Three musketeers riding to London to rescue the Queen's diamonds.

Sadly Alstom is no D'Artangnan, more Brian Rix!

Eye looks forward to seeing the Frenchies' trousers fall down.

UPDATE: This from @DriverPotter...

Alstom for IEP - Gallic farce would add a new shine to an otherwise very British Balls-up.

UPDATE: This from the Answer = 42...

You've got it all wrong about Alstom.

They know their legal action against Eurostar is a waste of time and money but what can they do? They owe President Sarko (you remember, Carla Bruni's current husband) a favour!

You might remember a few years ago, Sarko, when Minister of Finances, bailed Alstom out when they got into a spot of bother. All very legal under EU rules, as the French Republic acted as an investor - he made a nice profit for the French taxpayer to prove it. And goodness knows the French taxpayer needs all the help he can get.

But the problem is that Alstom undeniably owes the little guy a favour. And right now, he's the one in a spot of bother. You know, strikes, riots, that sort of thing.

So his cunning plan is to use the Eurostar tender to work the French public into a righteous nationalistic snit against the Germans, British or, even better, both.

So he leans on Alstom to get stuck in against Siemens and Eurostar. Which they do but then 'forget' to tell the French media.

Here is the headline from Alstom's only press release on the subject published on the 7th October:

"Regarding Eurostar's purchase of new trains, Alstom will make no comment on today's commercial discussions announced by the company".

Independent renders comment superfluous

This from the Indy...


Notice in which section the article appears...


'Nuff said!

Gratuitous Railway Eye candy

Look. There's a train in it okay!

UPDATE: This from a Mr Tony Miles...

Now we know what Captain Deltic's dreams are like...

UPDATE: This from Scotch Corner...

I wonder if the Virgin PR luvvies are thinking it might make more sense to go down this route rather than the bizarre Zombie campaign currently favoured.

Would certainly generate a lot more interest...

Mediaballs - City AM and the Virgin non-story

This from City AM...

VIRGIN Trains has denied suggestions it may launch rival services against Eurostar on the new high-speed line from London to continental Europe.

And in further un-news Virgin also denied that the moon is made of cheese and that the world is flat.

Eye salutes City AM for a complete non-story.

For Go-Ahead the future is... less orange!

This from Go-Ahead...

The Board of Go-Ahead Group plc (‘Go-Ahead’ or the ‘Company’) today announces that Keith Ludeman has decided to retire as Group Chief Executive of Go-Ahead after 15 years with the Company. He will retire on 4 July 2011 when he will be succeeded by David Brown.

As part of the orderly succession plan, David Brown, currently Managing Director, Surface Transport of Transport for London, will join the Company as Deputy Chief Executive on 1 April 2011 and will succeed Keith Ludeman when he retires.

So Tim O'Toole departed for First Group, then Ian Brown announces his retirement and now David Brown announces he is going to Go-Ahead.

Clearly retention of TfL Managing Directors is proving a challenge for Boris.

Alstom dies a thousand PR deaths

This from the FT...

France’s Alstom has asked London’s High Court to grant an injunction to stop Eurostar from finalising a €600m ($838m) train order with Siemens, its German rival, claiming loss of the contract would be a “significant blow” to its reputation worldwide.

Quelle réputation?

UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

That is a little unfair.

Alstom gave us the class 458s and 180s...

Sorry, as you were.

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic...

Perhaps the Fact Compiler should attend the Modern Railways Golden Spanners Awards at the end of this month.

There he would be able to discover that the class 458 is, in fact, the fifth most reliable modern EMU fleet in Britain, on a par with the Siemens Desiros and superior to all but one Bombardier Electrostar fleet.

However, this is all down to SWT's Wimbledon Depot and fleet owner Porterbrook.

And whilst on the subject of the Golden Spanners Awards, perhaps I could take this opportunity to point out that seats are still available for the awards ceremony at a remarkably inexpensive... (that's enough blatant plugging. Ed)

UPDATE: This from the Man by the Photocopier...

The benevolent authorities who run the Budapest Metro have refused Alstom's new rolling stock for line M2, saying that the brakes don't meet Hungarian standards. No Type Licence, no 244m euros. Woe, woe and thrice woe!

Alstom says it may appeal.

These trains are in service in four other cities, and meet the toughest standards .... (cont'd p94).

Home Service explores Parly Trains

This from Sinoda...

I thought Eye readers might be interested in this programme, due for broadcast on Radio 4 at 11:00 this coming Wednesday:

The Stockport-Stalybridge service is what's known as a "parliamentary train" and exists only so that the rail company can avoid going through formal closure proceedings.

Continuity announcer: "And now on Radio Four, Today in Parlytrains".

New rolling stock - a game of two halves?

This from Roy Race..

On 14 October 14 Chile's President Sebastian Piñera challenged the 33 miners to a game of football, jokingly suggesting that the winners would keep the Presidential Palace.

Philip Hammond has asked me to captain the DfT side in a similar match to determine the future of the Intercity Express Programme.

Can anyone offer a ground where the Marsham Street Academicals and Railway Industry United can meet?

UPDATE: This, surprisingly, from Sir Bobby Moore...

Why not Derby's Pride Park and make it a double header between Siemens and Bombardier for the Thameslink Trophy

UPDATE: This, remarkably, from Franz Beckenbauer..

I'm up for it and we are so confident of German superiority that we are not worried about home advantage.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Potatohead...

Please pay me £10.4m a year - I'm worth it. (Is this right? Ed)

UPDATE: This, allegedly, from a Mr Salman Butt...

I saw a bloke on Marsham Street happily stick a grand on Hitachi edging it through at 13/1.

Have you bet on new trains? Alternatively perhaps you're a bookie who has also seen heavy money go down on the IEP at odds close to a Baker's Dozen? Either way Eye wants to hear your story.

Trainy speakibold: Train to Crystal Palace

This from @carmenego via Twitter...

Prof Unwin offers: "Whilst knowy all thing langispeak this deeply confusy. London Overgrab excell in deep folly upside-daddle worms."

Grand Central new MD - Shocker

This from the Railway Herald...


Eye is unsure whether the Tom Windsor mentioned is the former Rail Regulator or a minor scion of the Royal Family?

Perhaps the soi disant 'veteran' observer would care to clarify?

UPDATE: This from a Mr Brennan Brown...

It is neither as well you know!

And can you please stop referring to me as the "soi disant veteran observer", it's not particularly funny and... (sadly, owing to reasons of space, Eye is unable to publish the rest of this email from the soi disant 'veteran' observer. Ed).

UPDATE: This from Chianothus Virginicus

I hope they have considered Psalm 42 before choosing this name and have amended their maintenance regime accordingly!

"As pants the hart for cooling streams
When heated in the chase..."

IEP undoomed?

This from Guido...

When Philip Hammond tried to sell the cuts package to the people of the north-east on Question Time last night he mentioned a deal with Hitachi to build high speed trains in the area. Jobs were promised...

No doubt Bombardier and Siemens are already consulting M'learned Friends.

UPDATE: This via the WNXX forum...

But not by Hammond !

I just watched Question Time again on BBC iPlayer and Guido is giving the wrong impression.

Hammond was claiming foreign investors liked the North East because of the availability of land and labour.

He said Hitachi promised to build a train factory for the next generation of trains IF they won the contract.

No promises were made by him.

West Yorkshire to get 140mph trains - Official

Exciting news from Yoghurt Rail!

It would appear that the putative Open Access Operator, Alliance Rail, has already stolen a march on Sir Roy McNulty.

Whilst the 'reality based' community is busy working out how joint ventures between NR and TOC's might work Mr Yeowart and his Arriva backed team have apparently solved the problem.

According to the Bradford Telegraph and Argus:

A rail operator has revealed plans to introduce new 140mph inter-city services between Bradford and London and major cities in the north.

Upgrades in CP5? Pah!

Forget NR, let's give the whole network to Yoghurt Rail!

East Coast driven to distraction

This from Our Man in the Black Mac...
In the days of the North Eastern, LNER, BR, InterCity, GNER and NXEC there was always a tradition that, no matter what your rank, you acknowledged the man at the front.

So what are we to make of today's behaviour at York?

Rail Barbie and load five (lawyers?) strolled onto platform 3 to catch the 15:35 to London.

As the train glided in neither the Chairman of East Coast, nor any of her acolytes, could be bothered to salute the driver.

Hopefully when Rail Barbie reaches Town she'll make up for such rudeness by slipping Driv' the customary 10 bob note?

Trainy speakibold - Victoria liine

This from Tingly Nell...

From the Victoria line...

“This service is being delayed because of signalling and control problems”

Prof Unwin suggests: “Coburgly happy sleepytime, wakey quicksnap! Not knowy which buttonholey pushy, all tubey trundle stop. Deep woe.”

'Elf 'n' Safety front ends

This from the Commander...

In regard to the view of the glossy pic adorning RailTalk in this month’s edition of Captain Deltic’s flagship publication showing LUL’s new ‘S’ stock’ red front end, is there a difference I’ve missed in the requirements for National Rail and LUL?

One notices the Overground ELL units with their yellow front ends, and one remembers the SNCF having to adorn their beautiful casse-nez BB 22000s with yellow protuberances in case they ventured into the daylight at Folkestone.

Again, on mixed LUL/NR infrastructure areas, according to LUL Track Awareness, on receiving a warning from a train driver staff should move to a place of safety and then acknowledge, where as the NR PTS requires an acknowledgement before moving to a place of safety, or you’ll fail the exam.

Likewise, do Chiltern units sound the distinctive LUL warning notes on their horns according to their direction of travel where the lines merge north of Harrow?

Sorry to sound a discordant note - perhaps I would be better employed celebrating today's 205th Anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar!

UPDATE: The Fact Compiler observes...

The absence of a yellow front end on the ICE3 set at St Pancras received much comment on Tuesday.

As most modern trains now have front end lamps than can be seen from deep-space is it perhaps time to review this particular Standard?